Sometimes we sacrifice our own desires and expectations to get attention from the opposite sex. There is nothing wrong with being in a relationship, but you have to ask yourself if it is healthy. Overcoming our fears in relationships is the first step towards building a good one. Today on Dear Dish-It’s “Let’s Talk About it Tuesday” we are going to be answering crush related questions from kids and teens. We’ll be assessing the difficulties and fears of asking someone out, someone out who may reject you, and certain behavior that isn’t normal and shouldn’t be condoned in a relationship.
Let’s Take a Look at This Week’s Questions:
Summer love isn't easy, but with faith you will survive.
Question from Got ya
Dear Dish-it, I have a question, my crush wants me to be his girlfriend, but we need to wait until we graduate High School. Is it worth to wait? And He's 6 months younger than me, is that good or bad?
Insight/Advice:
Six months isn’t that long of an age gap. All that matter is that you really care about your crush and want to be his girlfriend someday. It is always worth the wait if you think it is going to be. Most of the best things in life come to us after we’ve waited. Try to hang in there, enjoy his company and put no rush on anything. All you have is time, so take the time to sort it out. Time will always help you determine your true feelings on the matter so trust your gut and listen to your inner instincts. You’ll know what’s best to do and often that requires following your heart.
Question by AHappySmileEveryday
My crush acts weird around me, and I can't tell what it is! I'm getting scared though because last time someone (this was same gender though) acted weird around me, they were faking friendship! Please help me to see what this is!
Advice/Insight:
Does your crush know how you feel and have they expressed that they feel the same way? I don’t know the dynamic of your relationships, but usually bad vibes are bad vibes. If you are picking up on those then there has to be a reason. Try talking to your crush and ask them what the deal is. There’s a chance if you express not liking certain behavior that he will stop. Regardless, if this is reminding you of a fake friendship, you have every right to question your crush. You deserve to be treated good and your crush of all people should not be making you feel weird. It is not okay for boys to be mean to girls, and for girls to think that means they like them.
Never accept poor treatment from a crush or partner.
Question from HeyIt’sKaris
Dear Dish-it, I sent my crush an anonymous note about how I wish I could go to a dance with him. I didn't sign my name or anything, but I think he saw me leave the note! I don't know what to do!! Should I write another note and pretend that someone else sent the first note and that I was the messenger, or should I not say anything and hope he didn't see me. (I'm not positive he did!) Please respond ASAP, because this just happened! Eek!-Extremely Mortified
Advice/Insight:
I don’t think you should leave another note. What’s done is done and leave it. From what I gather, you like this boy, but you don’t want him to know it’s you, why is this? I suggest be open about your feelings, so if this boy isn’t interested then you can get some closure and move on to someone else. Let him get the note, I’m sure he’ll be flattered and try to figure out who it is. You could always come clean. Regardless, honestly is the best policy, don’t play games with your crush. I know you want to get his attention in any way how, but sneaking around like this doesn’t make you feel good and you should demand more for yourself.
Asking someone out is hard at first, but it gets easier with practise.
Question by lonely_daydreamer
So as I am a girl, I think she'd probably laugh in my face as she is straight and I don't know what to do. I think she likes a guy but I don't know. it is a massive crush and I feel so lonely. what do I do?
Advice/Insight:
Well, you don’t want to set yourself up for rejection. If you find out for sure that she likes some guy then I would back off. No point putting yourself out there if you already know what the outcome will be. If you think that she would laugh at you or that it is going to go down negativity then I would hold off. One day there will be a girl who is interested back, and that will be so much more worth the heartache of coming out to the wrong girl.
Question by panther
How do you tell if someone has a crush on you? I really like someone and I don't know if they do back.
Advice/Insight:
The only way to tell someone that you have a crush is to tell them. It might be really hard, but you can find ways that aren’t as personal. For example, sending a text, writing a Facebook message, or leaving them a note. Back in the day people would do the work, tell someone you like them and find out if they like you back. That involves making it a social spectacle, so if you don’t want that, find a simple form of communication and let them know. I’m sure they will be flattered regardless, but don’t get down if they don’t feel the same way. You confronted your feelings and this is huge. You gave yourself the answers you need to move on. Just remember that in life you usually end up with one person, consider all the people you meet and that adds up to a lot of rejection. Hang in there, at the right time, with the right person it will eventually click.
We will always wonder how our crush feels until we ask them.
Question by weird girl
How do I know he still likes me? I went out with this guy and we broke up apparently and he is giving me confusing signs like one day he just wants to bother me and hang out then 2 days later he wants to ignore me and talk to other girls and he also tries to make me jealous. like what are you telling me????? Please help me Dish-It.
Insight/Advice:
Sounds like this guy wants to have his cake and eat it too. He’s coming to you when he wants attention and doing his own thing when it suites him. It doesn’t sound like he is ready for a full-blown commitment. You certainly deserve better treatment. This guy is playing games with you and sending you mixed messages and that isn’t fair. I know it’s hard, but I would suggest that you move on from this guy. He is not ready to give you what you want and deserve.
Afterthoughts
The dating world is full of challenges that sometimes frustrate us beyond belief. It would be nice if everything could just go our way, all the time, but sadly the world doesn’t work like this. You will crush on people who don’t know you exist, and you will date people who don’t treat you the way that they should. It’s not easy liking people at this age because we fear rejection so much and don’t want people to know we like them. Why? We’re scared they won’t like us back, and also these feelings are so new and intense we don’t always know what to do with them. We might want to crush on someone, but that doesn’t always mean we are ready for a relationship.
A relationship should be based off of mutual feelings.
It is important that you get what you deserve and never put up with bad treatment. Write down all the qualities that are important to you in a relationship or consider these ten things, which we suggest every relationship should have. Do you have those things? Ensure that your relationship is built off a solid foundation of loyalty and trust. This means never having to question if your partner is into you, it means that you will just know. You will be confident in your relationship and not tolerate poor treatment simply because you want attention for the opposite sex or because you just want a boyfriend/girlfriend so bad. This will come in time. Stay true to yourself and what you expect from another person in a relationship and don’t stray from your expectations. You know when things are going right, and if you feel the need to write to me, then things certainly aren’t going right, and you should take that as a sign in itself that something has got to change!
Interested in getting in touch with Dear Dish-It? Simply email deardish@kidzworld.com with your concern, and we will address you on “Let’s Talk about it Tuesday” if your question is suitable for our topic of conversation. Regardless, keep your eyes peeled as Dear Dish-It it is covering a lot of issues, and you never know when your question or topic of concern will be featured in an article. Please let us know if you would like your handle to be listed as anonymous and list your age in your question if you would like as that can impact advice. To learn the Do's and Don'ts of Dear Dish-It and to find out what kind of questions are appropriate, check out this article!
Have Your Say
Do you act differently around your crush? Why do you have a crush but not want them to know?
