Today on Dear Dish-It’s "Let's Talk About it Tuesday" we are going to be address issues regarding self-esteem. It can be really hard to believe in yourself, especially if people are putting you down. You simply have to rise above the situation and have faith in yourself. Believing in yourself is hard, but it will make your life easier. Let's look at some ways in which you can build your self-esteem.
Let’s Take a Look at This Week’s Questions:
Never say can't do, always say can do.
Question by InsecureChick
Question: Dear Dish-it I recently come in to terms with having extremely low self-esteem. I have a hard time making friends because I always feel like they don't like me, they think I'm clingy, or they think I'm too weird. When I was younger I did not have the same problem as I do now. I use to have friends n I use to be happy at school...or at least that's how I remembered it. I move to the US in the second semester of my 4th grade. Having spoken practically no English and being thrown in to a school where there's barely anyone with language problem was not a fun experience. I clearly remember some kid ask me if I know how to talk which wasn't surprising since I act like I was mute. During recess I would just walk around and observe being jealous of people and wishing it was me. A lot of kids did make an effort but I guess since I don't talk eventually they just leave. Still it wasn't bad until one day my sister got home and said in front of both my parents that HER FRIND thinks I don't have any friend and make me feel like a complete loser. Then a year and a half later I move to middle school. I promise myself I wouldn't be the same again and try to make friends but it wasn't easy. This one nice girl talks to me and bring all her friends along and finally I feel like I'm normal. A lot of kids in my PE class was mix so I spend a lot of time talking to people in an older year. Coincidentally my sister other friend was in that class. A week later my sister come and said her friend told her I don't have any friend and she laugh like it was funny. That also was the time I stop talking to my older friends because I feel like I don't belong there and just intruding. As high school approach and my friends were moving I dreaded going going to 9th grade and becoming the weird chick that don't have friends again. I'm currently a sophomore and I'm friends with one of my friends in middle school. She introduce me to a lot of her friend but I'm afraid they only talk to me because I know her. I feel like they don't like me and eventually my friend is going to start ignoring me which is odd because she been nothing but nice. I realize this is probably my own self esteem problem and I'm judging myself before people judge me. I'm afraid that I would would act to desperately or end up pushing my friends away. What can I do to feel confident again. InsecureChick
Insight/Advice:
It sounds like you need to build confidence, and it all starts with you. Start by loving yourself and not caring what other people think. Language barriors are hard and if you can't communicate with someone it can make becoming friends hard. Think of the things you like about yourself and share those aspects with other people. Be happy if you can and spread positive vibes to others. Forget the past and keep moving forward. Eventually, you will make a friend that gets you.
Hang out with people who make you feel good about yourself.
Question by Secret
Question: I have plenty of friends and I talk well. I need to build my self esteem for sports. I never know if I should shoot the basketball or pass. I always get mad at myself if i miss the shot. I also get really mad if get a penalty or something. What should I do -NEEDS HELP!!
Insight/Advice:
Don't be so hard on yourself, you'll get your game back. Don't get mad at yourself if you make a mistake, just keep playing and remember why you play. You likely play because you love the sport so get back to loving it and having fun. Don't put pressure on yourself, you'll get there. Don't take things too seriously, remember it's only a game and it should bring enjoyment to your life. Learn from others and practise when your not playing. You will figure it out.
Find a group of friends that accepts you.
Question by Social Freak
Question: Dish-it, i cannot help but think I am ugly and fat, no matter what other people say. I have friends but very few and I am a third-wheel to all of them. When they hang out with groups of other girls, nobody ever invites me. I have gotton used to this and don't talk alot because I am afraid of being judged. Here is my question: How can I boost my self-esteem so I can enjoy life?
Insight/Advice:
Boosting self-esteem all begins with you. You have to stop seeing yourself in a negative way. Start to focus on your strengths and the things you know your good at. Find out what you love and do that. Write a list of all the qualities that you like about yourself and remind yourself of them all the time. Don't let anyone get you don't. If they don't get you, move on, someone else will. It's realy important that you put yourself first and it's really great that you want to build your confidence. Give it time and put in the work and in time you will get there. Don't forget about tools like "wise mind" that you can use to help you along the way.
A lot of the negative things we tell ourselves aren't true.
Afterthoughts
Other people can make us doubt ourselves. We feel that their acceptance of us makes us acceptable. We have to learn that we determine who we are and it doesn't matter what anyone thinks. All that matters is what you think about yourself. That is something that will never change.
People are attracted to confidence and positive people so strive to be one of those people. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks, it ony matters what you think. Don't let people get in your head and make you think otherwise. Know yourself and be strong.
Problems will always arise, but if you have a thick sign you won't let them bother you as much. Keep your head up, I know it's not easy, but you can do it, you simply have to believe in yourself.
Look for love wherever you go.
Helplines & Resources:
- TeenMentalHealth.org
- KidsHealth - A safe, private place for kids & teens who need honest, accurate information and advice about health, emotions, and life.
- Teen Line - A helpline for kids and teens to work through their personal issues and mental health as needed. 1-800-TLC-TEEN or 1-800-852-8336 (Toll-Free US & Canada).
- Mind Infoline – Information on self-harm and a helpline to call in the UK at 0300 123 3393 or text 86463.
- Kids Help Phone – Free, anonymous and bilingual helpline for young people in Canada, available 24/7 by phone, Live Chat, and the Always There chat app for any issue, including self-injury and suicide. Call 1-800-668-6868 or visit kidshelpphone.ca.
- Kids Helpline – A helpline for kids and young adults in Australia to get help with issues including cutting and self-harm. Call 1800 55 1800. (Kids Helpline).
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Simply email deardish@kidzworld.com with your concern, and we will address you on “Let’s Talk about it Tuesday” if your question is suitable for our topic of conversation. Regardless, keep your eyes peeled as Dear Dish-It it is covering a lot of issues, and you never know when your question or topic of concern will be featured in an article. Please let us know if you would like your handle to be listed as anonymous and list your age in your question if you would like as that can impact advice. To learn the Do's and Don'ts of Dear Dish-It, and to find out what kind of questions are appropriate, check out this article!
Have your say
What do you have a hard time accepting about yourself? How do you deal with it? Comment below.
