Do you ever feel like there is this trend that it's not cool to be emotional? There is irony in this because people often forget that ALL of their feelings constitute as emotions. Everyone is emotional. Just because you aren't "sad" it doesn't necessarily mean you aren't emotional. People aren’t only emotional if they are crying or angry. Happiness is an emotion. Based on this notion we can conclude that we all obtain a secret “emotional closet” that maybe we visit alone on Sundays, trying to figure out what to keep and what to throw away, but regardless this is a place where we hide our pain and inner truth. When tapping into your emotional closet it might feel more like 'mental pondering' as you shift through thoughts. You might not be ready to throw anything in your closet away. Or you may not have the strength to physically change anything yet.
It's never a good idea to sit in your own agony.
Cleaning out the emotional closet can be a very healthy thing. Dealing with your problems is a form of self-love. This is something you want to exercise in your life regularly—loving yourself enough to take care of your troubles. It’s all about doing things, which will benefit you in the long-run and help improve your situation. The moment you decide to dress yourself up in love, self-love, your own love, you will naturally start to feel good, and look good having coped with your issues. When we avoid ourselves and our problems we go into the emotional closet, and as expressed this can be dangerous.
Love yourself enough to get the proper help.
What exactly does the emotional closet look like? This is the place where we store our private pain, thoughts, feelings, concerns, and secrets. At times, it is wise to keep things to yourself, especially if it is hurtful to anyone in any way, but a lot of the time people recover by talking about their problems. Take therapy, for example, it is likely the number one suggested cure for anyone who is enduring a serious problem. It has been proven that communication can be a problem solver.
You will feel frustrated when you have no one to turn to.
It’s not easy for everyone though. A lot of people struggle to talk about the hard stuff. So many people fear to talk about their problems and this is why we have people like Dear Dish-It to talk to if needed, but Dear Dish-It isn’t always able to answer your questions and we also need people in our real lives that we can talk to. Do you feel like you have people you can turn to? Having a solid support system is key to helping you through your tough times.
Some people prefer to keep things to themselves, though no one is saying this is healthy, some people have a hard time talking about their issues. Or talking about the matter can also make people feel worse. People like to block their pain and sustain from any reminders of it. Certain things can trigger our pain, even certain people and a lot of people will avoid what makes them feel uneasy.
Don't spend too much time in your emotional closet.
People are also in denial about their pain. They don’t want to recognize it because they want to be perceived as okay, especially at this age. It is hard to show vulnerability in front of kids and teens. People are so concerned with being cool and being popular, they don’t want to be the person with problems. Regardless, what you chose to run away from eventually will catch up with you and until you deal with your issues, they will haunt you.
Talking about matters, and trying to exit your emotional closet will help you deal with what is bringing you down. Figuring out what you feel out load can be very beneficial because a lot of the time we are so mixed up with our emotions that we need to sort them out with someone. As much as we want to rely on ourselves for so much, it’s not always possible.
Find someone you trust and open up to them. Talk to an adult, a guidance counselor or a parent. You’d be surprised to learn how receptive people will be. People worry about you and they just want the best for you. They want to ensure you are okay and if you’re not, they want to do whatever they can to help you.
Talking it through can really help and make all the differenence.
You don’t have to share everything in your emotional closet. It’s always okay to have secrets and things you simply want to keep to yourself, however, if something is really pressing you, meaning you can’t stop thinking about it, and that it is really bothering you then you have to try to open up and talk about it.
If you really don’t want anyone to know, but still feel the need to talk about the issue and get help, there are crisis lines in your area that you can call. These lines are great because volunteer lead with empathy, a quality that doesn’t focus on judgment, but more so on putting yourself in other people’s shoes. There are many different options, but regardless you should choose the route of getting help and taking to someone who can ensure you are taken care of.
Not talking about our problems can make them harder.
The worst thing for anyone is to suffer alone. Your silence is not making you stronger. Remember that you deserve to be heard and you deserve to be helped. Never live alone with your pain. It won’t magically go away, you have to address it and deal with it in order to move on.
Have Your Say
Do you keep your problems to yourself? How do you cope with your issues?
