At this stage, our body is constantly changing and we may not like it. There is so much pressure from our community, society and the media to look a certain way. When you can look any way that you like as long as it makes you happy. Being true to who you are means reflecting a true appearance. It is important to be healthy, and if we are not taking care of ourselves, we need to be. This will make you feel better. Knowing that you are doing all the right things for your body. Learn to love the shape you came in and find out what your assets are, everyone has them. Focus more on those and less on the things you consider to be flaws.
Today on “Let’s Talk About it Tuesday” we are going to be looking at questions from kids and teens who are experiencing problems with body image. We’ll look at questions of those who want to change or who have expressed self-hate about their bodies. It is important to value yourself from the outside in, and sometimes when we don’t like what we see, we start to develop complexes on the inside, which can be avoided. Be confident in your own skin and be proud to be different. Embrace all the things that you want to change and accept that you are loveable exactly the way you are.
Let’s Take a Look at This Week’s Questions:
Bodies come in different shapes and sizes but they are all beautiful.
Question from Awkward Phandøm
Dear Dish-It, I hate my body and everything about it. How do I change that?
Insight/Advice:
It starts with you. You are the only person who can change it, but know that you are loveable at any size or at any shape. We all have different bodies, but keep in mind that yours is constantly changing at this age. Don’t be hard on yourself. If you don’t love the frame you are in then no one else will. Own in. Be confident. Work with what you got, and if you are so concerned you can transform your body and make changes. You can eat right, go to the gym, and do things that are active and good for your body. Whatever you’re not happy with it is in your power to change and to accept it. No one is going to love you if you can’t love yourself so work on building self-esteem and getting to a place were you feel proud to be in the body you are in. Acceptance plays a big factor too. We can improve, but we can’t always achieve the changes we desire. Therefore we have to learn to accept ourselves the way we are and have no shame about it. You might think it matters what other people think, or what they say, but it doesn’t matter. All that matter is that you are comfortable in your own skin. The most important thing that you need to change is your attitude. Try to get rid of the word “hate” from your vocabulary. Don’t hate yourself. Be a friend to yourself and take those steps forward towards taking action. I guarantee you will feel a lot better about your body If you are doing things to take care of it and keep it in shape. This shape is not the perfect body prescribed by magazines in society, it is the perfect body for you.
People care about you and they love you for you.
Portion of a Question from pretty awesome cool girl
I hate the way I look. These are the things I don't like about me: Skin color (it's dark brown), Facial hair (black), Legs (black knees because I fell down on gravel), Spots (I have spots all over my body). What should I do? And I'm the darkest girl in my girl well I don't get bullied but I don’t like being the darkest girl. What should I do ? Lastly I get told what to do everyday at home from my parents, I never get to do things I want. What should I do?
Please answer all my question and give me advice. I'm counting on you. I'm too scared to tell my parents.
Insight/Advice:
While I will try to address your friend concerns in another article about those issues, I am going to address the second part of your question. Firstly, it is apparent that you care way too much what other people think. People aren’t bothering you about the way that you look, you are, and you need to stop it. Embrace being different. Instead of seeing being the darkest girl in the class as a bad thing, see It as a good thing. You stand out and there is no one like you. What makes you different makes you beautiful, and I know this concept is hard to grasp at this age with kids and teens being so hard on each other, but that is only a taste of the real world. Out there, you are a part of many beautiful races and cultures that exist, and despite racist people, diverse people are appreciated. Learn to love your skin and take it as an advantage. Plus, why do white girls obsess over sun tanning? They want to get darker. Being dark is not a bad thing. Accept yourself. Love yourself. Be a friend to yourself. Stop worrying about all these other people and try focusing on what makes you happy for a change. Other people are great, but we can’t rely on anyone for our happiness, we have to give this to ourselves. Sadly, you are at an age when you have to listen to your parents and you should because they know what’s best for you. One day you won’t have someone looking out for you to this degree so don’t take it for granted. They simply care about you and want the best for you. Try talking to them about how you are feeling maybe then they might back off a bit and give you the space to get to a better place. No one can help you if they don’t know you are suffering so remember it is always better to talk about it, and I’m really glad that you reached out and will continue to do so in your life.
Stay away from scales, be healthy and active instead.
Question by CL
Dear Dish-It, I suffer because of my low self-esteem, I absolutely hate it. I've been trying to help myself but I just can't. whenever I get embarrassed I turn super red. then someone asks why I’m red and then I just get more red. It's even more embarrassing. :/ I'm not fat nor skinny. I suppose you can say I’m fit, but I have small breast. My ‘used to be girlfriends’ use to make fun of me because they had boobs and I didn't. It made me cry sometimes. And everybody knows that guys look into that. Which is gross. I've always been told by people that I have a nice body and "behind”, but my breast just don't match with that. Is there any way to make your breast bigger? (This is also embarrassing to ask).
Insight/Advice:
What ever happened to promoting what we do have? Nobody has everything they want when it comes to their bodies. You are not even at an age yet where you are fully developed so you don’t know how your body will change. I am not going to give you advice on how to make your breasts bigger, but I am going to encourage you to work on your self-esteem. Embrace your gifts and good measures. Ignore and accept the things that you can’t change. Though, when you are older, there are ways to make changes to your body, but is it worth it? Wouldn’t you rather just be you, naturally? Yes boys like boobs, but as you get older you find that boys like boobs in all shapes and sizes, and having big boobs over small boobs doesn’t mean you win. Love your body. Every inch. If your friends make fun of you remind them that you can’t have it all, and that there is so much more to value like character. People fall in love with people for who they are not for their cup size. Ask yourself, do you really want a guy to be into you because you have the perfect body or because he finds you amazing, can’t stop thinking about you and loves you, “sweatpants, chillin with no make-up on, that’s when you the prettiest, I hope that you don’t take it wrong." As guys mature, they get past the superficial and like girls for who they are. Regardless, it’s a fact that boys like confident women, so if you want to get noticed work on accepting yourself and not what you could enhance. Who are you trying to impress at the end of the day? Yourself? Or a bunch of hormonal guys.
Don't be your own worst enemy.
Question by Hate the way I feel about myself
I’m 13 and I hate my legs and my body. I see super skinny girls at school and I want to be one of them. I want to try a diet but I don't know any. Any help??
Insight/Advice:
Don’t hate anything about yourself. Use what you got and work with it. It’s how you carry yourself that counts. Show confidence. Don’t envy others, ever. Jealousy is a terrible quality. Admire people and pay them compliments, but don’t be envious of what they have. Remember there are things that you have that they don’t. You are not defined by the way that you look. You are defined by the kind of person you are, so be a good person. Be kind. Make others feel good, and in the process, make yourself feel. If you want to try to get into better shape, yes you can cut out the pop and junk food and eat healthier, and you can also start to get more active. Go at a pace that works for you, and don’t push yourself too hard. Also, don’t get obsessed with it. It’s one element of your life, and as I said, it doesn’t define you, so don’t let it. Take care of yourself and I bet you will start to feel a lot better about yourself, just knowing that you are doing something proactive about the problem will make you feel better.
What makes you different is also what makes you beautiful. You were bon to shine.
Afterthoughts
We all come in different shapes and sizes, but that doesn’t mean there still isn’t love out there for all of us. The most important thing is that you love yourself. We all go through different stages, and we need to be patient with our bodies as they develop. Self-image can destroy a person. It can make them feel depressed and like they need to isolate. Having a low self-esteem will affect everything negativly so do what you can to get yourself to a place of self-love and acceptance. At this age, looks are so important, it’s hard not to compare yourself to others. You simply have to remind yourself that everyone gets something of value, and everyone has something beautiful about them. We all bring different things to the table, and instead of working against each other, why not collaborate and work together?
Don’t be pressured by body types in the media. They are not realistic examples of how we should look.
Try to focus less on being hard on yourself and more on having fun.
Being comfortable in your own skin will make life a whole lot easier. You will let things and people bother you less. You will be able to let things go. You won’t care when someone doesn’t approve of you because you approve of yourself and that’s all that matters. Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder, and if you’re not beautiful inside (the beauty that counts) then you could never be beautiful on the outside. True beauty comes from within, so instead of trying to be beautiful, simply try to be a beautiful person.
Interested in getting in touch with Dear Dish-It? Simply email deardish@kidzworld.com with your concern, and we will address you on “Let’s Talk about it Tuesday” if your question is suitable for our topic of conversation. Regardless, keep your eyes peeled as Dear Dish-It it is covering a lot of issues, and you never know when your question or topic of concern will be featured in an article. Please let us know if you would like your handle to be listed as anonymous and list your age in your question if you would like as that can impact advice. To learn the Do's and Don'ts of Dear Dish-It and to find out what kind of questions are appropriate, check out this article!
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Do you like your body? How do you overcome insecurities about your image?
