Dear Dish-It Guides You to Gain Self-Acceptance

We all come in different shapes and sizes, and we should never judge others on how they look. Your young, this is your time to enjoy life. It is not the time to be obsessed with your weigh. Remember that your body is going through a lot of changes and therefore you shouldn’t judge yourself. Learn to love the skin that you are in. It will make a world of difference. Today on Dear Dish-It’s, “Let’s Talk About it Tuesday", we will be answering questions from kids and teens who struggle with their weight and the social pressure of being thin.

Let’s Take a Look at This Week’s Questions:

Question by I am to big

People at school call me fat and a cow. I don't know what to do. I know that I need to work on myself but really i don't want people to call me fat.

Insight/Advice:

That is terrible that people are calling you those names, I am so sorry that you have to experience that. Your body is going through some changes, and I know it must be hard to live up to social standards. Make changes, but only if you want to. You have to learn to love yourself no matter what size you are or what you look like. Ignore the bullies, and don’t be afraid to tell a teacher to get it to stop. Kids who call other kids names have insecurities of their own. Know better and don’t react because that’s what they want.

Question by Mrs. Fatty!

Ok I’m 10! and I am about 90 pounds! am I fat or not!?

Insight/Advice:

I am not going to answer this question. I’m sure you look great just as you are. Don’t obsess about this stuff. Don’t even use the word “fat” in your vocabulary. Find a different way to describe yourself, one that is more positive. Focus on what you like about yourself and what your good at. Don’t be hard on yourself. Treat yourself right. Love your body. Love yourself. Don’t feel like you need to change because you are still loveable no matter what you look like. Put your attention elsewhere and think about more productive things.

Question by BalloonKid

I really think I'm fat. Everyone else is skinnier than me and I'm moving to secondary now. i don't want to get bullied, but judging by how people treat me down here, I'm probably gonna teased. help! :(

Insight/Advice:

Don’t put yourself down for starters. Own your body and be confident in your skin. It makes the world of difference. Don’t compare yourself to others. There are a ton of different body types out there and they are all beautiful. Being healthy is the real concern. If it has been expressed by a doctor that you are at an unhealthy weight then you might need to eat better and get more exercise. Regardless, you are so young and constantly changing, your concern should not be on your weight. Focus on things that make you feel happy and good about yourself. If your health is a concern try to be proactive about it. If it’s making you so unhappy just know there are things you can do about it. Stay strong.

Question by Overweight

I am 46.5 kg and I feel really fat!! I look skinny in the mirror but I feel too fat for a 12 year old girl who loves herself very much. I can't stick to a diet. What do I do?

Insight/Advice:

You’re not fat so don’t call yourself that. If you are worried about your health then start to make some changes. Get active and eat right. Put good things into your body and work on feeling good about yourself. Personally, I don’t suggest dieting at such a young age. Just try to eat healthily, but don’t feel like you have to deprive yourself of things you want to eat. Enjoy your life just take care of yourself.

Question by maaaaadddddiii

Okay, here's the deal, I was sitting with my friends before school. This really really skinny girl named Britney was sitting there and had these really cute clothes on that I really liked. But, it was like completely lace with just a cami. I'm fat. Like really fat. I'm over 140 pounds and I’m not even 13 yet. Then this girl named Sophie told me that the stuff I wear to school is cute but I don’t have style. Thing is like I said, I'm fat. I can't fit into those skinny little skirts and dresses and lace shirts. Then she compared me to Britney who is my age but like 90 pounds and REALLY skinny. I also am broke and my parents don't give me money to go shopping so I can't go out and buy the brand name stuff...please help and tell me what to do.

Insight/Advice:

The feeling of not being able to pull off the trends because of your body type is frustrating. Have you ever thought about doing something about it? You could eat healthier, you could start to work out. You will see results if you put the work in. Your happiness is important, and if you feel like feeling better about your body would make you happier then you should do it. Regardless, I’ll say it again, you have to love the skin that you are in. Be confident and ignore any comparison that anyone might make, it’s uncalled for. Everyone is different and should be free to just be who they are without bullying. Also, who is anyone to say who has style? She says you have cute things, so to me, that means that you look good. If you can’t dress just like the other girls that is okay. Dress for you and no one else. Don’t try to be like everyone else. Be an individual.

Afterthoughts

It can take time to love yourself and your body, but you should work towards it. If you need help with it, ask for it. People can develop serious eating disorders and issues from obsessing about their weight, and trying to find ways to control it. It’s not healthy to abuse your body in any way. If you are unhealthy and frustrated by the things that people say, maybe it’s time to do something about it. The right way. You can work with your doctor and set up a health plan to get you in better shape. Don’t beat yourself up over your weight. Remember that what’s truly important is on the inside. It might seem like a hard concept to grasp now, but one day it will reign true.

On a general note, don’t go around calling people “fat” or “cow”, be considerate of others and know that weight is a very sensitive issue for that person. Never pick on someone’s appearance. It’s who they are as a person, which really counts. You might not think about this now, but one day when you are older you will likely highly regret making fun of others. One day, you’ll have children of your own and I highly doubt that you will wish bullying upon them.

Helplines & Resources: 

• TeenMentalHealth.org
• KidsHealth - A safe, private place for kids & teens who need honest, accurate information and advice about health, emotions, and life.
• Teen Line - A helpline for kids and teens to work through their personal issues and mental health as needed.  1-800-TLC-TEEN or 1-800-852-8336 (Toll Free US & Canada).
• Mind Infoline – Information on self-harm and a helpline to call in the UK at 0300 123 3393 or text 86463.
• Kids Help Phone – A helpline for kids and teens in Canada to call for help with any issue, including cutting and self-injury. Call 1-800-668-6868. (Kids Help Phone)
• Kids Helpline – A helpline for kids and young adults in Australia to get help with issues including cutting and self-harm. Call 1800 55 1800. (Kids Helpline)

Interested in getting in touch with Dear Dish-It? Simply email deardish@kidzworld.com with your concern, and we will address you on “Let’s Talk about it Tuesday” if your question is suitable for our topic of conversation. Regardless, keep your eyes peeled as Dear Dish-It it is covering a lot of issues, and you never know when your question or topic of concern will be featured in an article. Please let us know if you would like your handle to be listed as anonymous and list your age in your question if you would like as that can impact advice. To learn the Do's and Don'ts of Dear Dish-It, and to find out what kind of questions are appropriate, check out this article!

Have Your Say 

Do you pick on yourself because of your weight? What makes you feel good about yourself?