We really need to pay attention to our actions and how they hurt other people. Is it your goal to make another individual feel worthless? Can you imagine how that must feel? Next time you go to name call or bully someone, keep in mind that they are human and will feel the pain which you inflict. Today on Dear Dish-It’s “Let’s Talk About It Tuesday”, we are going to answer questions from kids and teens who are feeling worthless because of their life circumstances. While a lot of it seems to be coming from school life. Don’t think for a second that it makes you better than anyone else if you exert control over someone and bring them down. This only highlights the insecurities in you which you are choosing to take out on someone else. You have the issues and need the help and should stop tormenting poor people who do not deserve it. Here’s what it looks like to feel worthless:
Let’s Take a Look at This Week’s Questions:
Never let anyone tell you that you are not worthy.
Question by Ugly
Dear Dish-It, My classmates keep picking on me It started off small, with just teasing and name calling and stuff, but for the past couple of months, it got really bad. I wrote things for the school magazine, and they took it and published some under their own name, and they burnt the rest of it (like, literally). They keep goading me about it and saying that they did all that because I'm good for nothing and that my writing sucks. My writing isn't the only thing they pick on me about either. They make fun of the way I look and about my weight and my every little mannerism. I quit the school band I was in because I couldn't take it when they teased me about my singing and I quit the choir for the same reason, and I'm regretting it (and they won't take me back now). I really don't want to stop writing now, but I can't help but wonder if they're right and if I really am so bad that I have to stop. I'm very scared because the last time something along the lines of this happened at my old school, I sort of sunk really deep into depression and it took me ages to come out of it. Dish-It, I can't tell my parents or any adult about it because my parents will never understand. (They didn't understand when I was bullied at my old school and decided to vent my feelings by writing a story about it. They just ridiculed the story and grounded me for it). I don't get along with my relatives either, so I can't tell them, and the teachers at my school won't help (I just know this), and we haven't got a counselor. I can't believe in myself anymore, and it's turning out like the last time all over again. I cut myself many times last week and made myself puke my lunches out. I can't look into the mirror and not be appalled by what I see in there. I hate myself and I honestly think I am worthless. Everyone else has something they're amazing at Dish-It, why can't I have something like that too? Why do I have to be the one who screws everything up so that other people can look at me and think "Hey, at least I'm not her."? I feel so selfish thinking like this, but it's all true Dish-It, I'm such a horrible person.
Insight/advice:
Firstly, you are not a horrible person. It sounds like you are putting way too much pressure upon yourself to be somebody you aren’t. Forget about the cool kids, don’t react when they bully you, but burning your paper? This is something you need to tell the teacher about it. Tell your teacher how this is affecting your self-esteem and that you are putting yourself in danger and need to see someone. Maybe your teacher can even call your parents, who might be more likely to listen when they hear how severe this is and from another adult. Regardless, you need help beyond what I can provide you. I can tell you to keep your head up and to keep going. Don’t take this out on yourself by throwing up or cutting. This isn’t your fault. No one should treat anyone the way those kids are treating you, and they are the ones in the wrong. Remember that next time you get the impulse to harm yourself, remember that you’re not the bully, you’re the victim and you don’t deserve any additional pain.
Find your inner worth and embrace it.
Question by Creative Nickname
I need some help and I really don't want to talk to my parents about anything because I don't want to worry them. I don't know if I'm just being over dramatic and attention seeking or if something is seriously wrong with me. I think I annoy everyone around me. Many people leave me and I feel like it's my fault. I have a fear of being alone even though everybody will eventually end up leaving me because I'm such a horrible person. I also have severe trust issues and a low self-esteem. I have contemplated killing myself many times. I can't help but feel like the world would be a better place without me. Please help. Is there any way I can help these problems? I really don't want to end up hurting anyone. Thank you for taking your time to read this. I'm really sorry if this whole thing was just a waste of your time.
Insight/advice:
Of course, this is not a waste of my time, I’m here to listen and to help. It sounds like you are going through a lot, and the first thing I am going to suggest is telling your parents. They’ll be more worried about you if they don’t know what’s going on, and they are there to help you. Stop putting yourself down. You’re not a horrible person, in fact, you seem articulate and considerate. Don’t be hard on yourself even if other people are that way to you, you don’t have to let them affect your self-esteem. Be strong, it’s tough now, but it will get easier. As long as you find someone to talk to. Suicide is never the solution, but often appears like a good idea when we are too ashamed to ask for help. We have to ask for help, or how else do you expect to get better? Something might be wrong with you and you didn’t even know. Get the help to get this figured out and get you back on the road to happy.
Except that you are worthy of love and support.
Question by DerpyBrony
I don't know what to say to make him change his mind, his life's perfect, he has soooo many friends, a girl friend and he plays about 5 sports, he says life's worthless, what do I do, I don't want to lose my best friend...
Insight/advice:
It is very scary when our friends talk about suicide, and it sounds like there are bigger problems going on, which don’t always meet the eye. For example, he may suffer from a mental illness, in which unbalanced chemical in the brain can act up, especially if they require medication for balance purpose. Talk to your friend, let them know that you are there, and find out what the reasons could be for him feeling this way. Ask him if he’s just been feeling down lately, and if he says yes, tell him there is treatment and that he should not give up. Remind him he has his whole life ahead of him and that if there is something in his life he doesn’t like then he can change it. I would also suggest telling your friend’s parents. Suicide is dangerous and we have to ensure that your friend’s safety is not jeopardized at any point. He will benefit from the support and the constant reminder that he is so loved.
Love yourself no matter what anyone says or does to you.
Question from anonymous
Dear, Dear Dish-It, I am sorry beforehand for everything that is in this email. I don't really know how to start this off. So I'll start it off with my feelings.
I feel like I am just and attention seeking, ugly, messed up, worthless, stupid, teen girl. I feel like people barely tolerate me (if even that). I can't imagine somebody ever liking me just a bit. I have serious trust issues because people always end up leaving. People may say they would never leave me, but everybody leaves me eventually. These low self-esteem problems are because I own a mirror and I was cyber bullied. Fun! (Sarcasm is my only defense mechanism).
I really don't want to get into the cyber bullying so I will just go into the serious stuff. I have thought of killing myself before. The only things holding me back are 1. My siblings may be bullied and such without me 2. My family may be hurt (we live in a pretty dangerous neighborhood ) 3. My family may have to pay a lot to 'dispose' my body ( sorry that sounded weird. I can't word today ).
These may be only some problems of mine, but I don't want to write everything out. Sorry again about the horrible person I am and the bad grammar. I sent this out on a whim and lots of sugar. I'm not sure if this is attention seeking or serious stuff. I'm not confident enough to tell any one else. Thank you for reading. Happy facade using, (probably) attention seeking, ( definitely ) horrible, teen, girl out.
Insight/advice:
You never need to apologize for reaching out, that is what I am here for. Sounds like you’ve got a lot of self-esteem issues. Believing in yourself is a choice and it’s one you should choose. Don’t judge yourself or put yourself down. Make yourself a priority and don’t tolerate others treating you poorly. Killing yourself is not the answer. As discussed in previous articles, there are 4 P’s to suicide, and it looks like you have a long list of pluses, in other words, reasons to live. Please reach out to someone when you are feeling this way. People can get you the proper help because often that is what suicide is, a cry for help. Instead of crying for the help, let’s get you the help. Who can you talk to? Who do you trust? Pick an adult that you can open up to who can help you get the help you need because you can’t go through this alone. You need supports in place to help you get through.
They might try to make you feel worthless, but you can't let them.
Afterthoughts
You have to remember that regardless of what happens or what anyone says to you, you are not worthless. Everyone has a special gift and you have so much to offer. No matter how hard they try to bring you down, you will rise, and you will come out winning. Remember nothing is set in stone and can change at a time, so you want to be around for the good parts of life. Work on building your self-esteem, develop a skin that won’t let just anyone get through to it. Believe in yourself and never put yourself down. Don’t judge yourself and try to be there for yourself. Even when it feels like you have no one, you always have yourself, and that is something. Don’t put yourself down because you are what you say you are, and what you tell yourself is what you will choose to believe. Stop telling yourself the wrong thing. Try to be positive, focus on what you’ve got going for yourself and never let another person bruise your pride.
Think about the things that you love about yourself.
We get into situations with people and they can really hurt and bruise our confidence, but we have to remind ourselves that these people aren’t worth it, and if they are worth it, things will resolve, Focus on the people in your life who do see and value your worth. Forget about the haters, and remember they suffer from their own complexes and insecurities.
On the housekeeping front, I’ve been getting a lot of questions about female body issues and periods. Please re-read our Do’s and Don’ts listed below as that is subject matter Dear Dish-It will not be able to address. You need to see your doctor for educated advice.
Interested in getting in touch with Dear Dish-It? Simply email deardish@kidzworld.com with your concern, and we will address you on “Let’s Talk about it Tuesday” if your question is suitable for our topic of conversation. Regardless, keep your eyes peeled as Dear Dish-It it is covering a lot of issues, and you never know when your question or topic of concern will be featured in an article. Please let us know if you would like your handle to be listed as anonymous and list your age in your question if you would like as that can impact advice. To learn the Do's and Don'ts of Dear Dish-It and to find out what kind of questions are appropriate, check out this article!
Have Your Say
Has anyone ever made you feel worthless? What kind of things makes you feel worthless?
