Mentally Claustrophobic: When You Feel Like You Can’t Even Breath

Today on Dear Dish-It’s, “Let’s Talk About it Tuesday” we will be addressing questions and concerns from kids and teens who are facing very difficult situations, which stem from mental health problems. These matters are very serious as some of these kids and teens are thinking about suicide. Suicide is never the solution, it takes someone’s pain and passes it to someone else. We never know what tomorrow will bring, so it is better we stay hopeful and reach out for help when we get to that dark place.

Let’s Take a Look at This Week’s Questions:

Question by imjustasinger

So, I am an eleven-year-old girl with depression that runs in my family and I get stressed easily. When people freak me out I don't know how to react because people think I'm a drama queen and I don't want them to think "Oh here she goes again" because I cry a lot. I like to think of my emotions as a marble jar. every time someone does something I don't like, I put a marble in and I don't react. When my jar is filled up, It explodes and I totally start breaking down and bawling. people think I'm only freaking about the last marble when i'm really think about everything that's happened that week. People just don't know how I feel or what really goes on. I just want to know how to reduce the drama, stay calm, and stand up for myself. After all, I'm in 6th grade in an elementary school (cuz our district is weird) and I shouldn't have to be suicidal or feel like I'm enclosed in a box. Like mentally claustrophobic. Please help.

Insight/Advice:

I liked your term “mentally claustrophobic” so much, I made it the title. I think it really sums up how people with mental illness feel. People don’t really know what’s going on inside us, and sure they make judgments and assumptions. For example, people calling you a drama queen, well you suffer from depression and this is a sickness. Your emotions are deregulated and this is probably why they are so sensitive and right at the surface. Some people have so much empathy that they cry when other people do, or when someone is crying on television. To me, it sounds like you need some real supports for what you go through. You need someone professional to talk to. They can give you skills and coping mechanism to help turn down “the drama.” Talk to your parents, be honest, let them know you think about suicide. At your age, this is not a normal or healthy thought. Tell them that a lot is going on with you inside and that you need some real help. If they don’t understand talk to a Guidance Counselor at school. Talk to anyone in your life or family that you feel will help you get the help. From what I can tell you are really struggling and in order to make it, you need some support. Remember, you have an illness and everyone who is sick has to seek means to get better.

Question by conflicted

I’ve been depressed since 4th grade. that’s when I started cutting myself. I don't even know how I knew what it was but it helped. I binge and purge and just want to die every day. my mom says I’m just looking for attention and I’m not calling any hotline. I want to get help but my parents will not do it. I want to live to see another day.

Insight/Advice:

Sometimes it is hard for parents to accept that something is wrong with their kid. Parents can be in denial. Mental health is a tricky thing because a lot of people don’t even believe in it. Firstly, I would try talking to your parents again, maybe write them a letter if facing them is too hard. Tell them all the things you do, tell them what you’ve told me. If they still won’t help then you are going to have to seek it elsewhere. Try resources at school because there are tons of people there who care about your well-being. Cutting is not a solution, and I hope you read the highlighted article because it’s very dangerous. Never harm yourself. Binging and purging? This is just another form of self-hate. You need to work with someone to get your level of self-esteem up and where it needs to be so that you can see you are never meant to harm yourself. Love yourself. Even when your family isn’t showing you the right support. Also, you can call the hotline anytime you like. That is your right and you do not need parental permission. That’s what it is there for. It is a place to go when you feel like you’ve tried everything else, but still feel stuck. Don’t give up on yourself. Get the help you need because you really deserve to be happy.

Question by anon

I can't do this anymore. I might kill myself later today or tomorrow. ok.

Insight/Advice:

Don’t kill yourself. Don’t even think of it as an option, but if you have a plan you need to call 911 right away, or you can call a helpline. In Canada, you can call 1-800-SUICIDE. Other numbers are listed at the bottom of this article in the resource section. As I mentioned earlier, suicide takes your pain and passes it on to someone else. You might not believe this but there are people who care about you who will be devastated. You have to think of your pluses, which are reasons to live. The fact that you wrote me this is a plus. It means you are looking for help, and in a sense crying for it because we wouldn’t threaten our own life if we weren’t in a really bad place. Try to heal whatever is making you feel this way. Get help. Talk to your parents and tell them how you feel. No one wants to see you gone, but you have to want to be here for yourself.

Question by CeCe

Dear Dish-It, My doctor thinks I have schizophrenia but my mom thinks I'm faking but I'm not and I've never and would never do anything like that. Please help?!

Insight/Advice:

Your mom doesn’t trust the opinion of your doctor? I would go back and see your doctor and get them to talk to your mom. Why would anyone fake something like this? Something that is wished upon no one. You need to spell it out for your mom that you are really sick, not faking and need to get the proper help. Help which you deserve. I’m so sorry you are dealing with this, but as discussed earlier sometimes parents have a hard time accepting that something is wrong with their kids. It’s not your fault. I truly hope that you get the attention, which you deserve.

Afterthoughts

If you are feeling suicidal you have to reach out for help. Call the crisis line in your area or talk to an adult. Never act upon these feelings. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You need help and the only way you’re going to get it is If you speak up. Talk about your problems, don’t just keep them to yourself, they won’t get better. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health so focus on self-care. Make yourself a priority and do whatever you need to see yourself in a better light. These issues are serious and need to be dealt with. Please get the help that you deserve. I’m glad you reached out to me, now you need to reach out to people in your life who can actually help you. Don’t ignore these feelings, they need to be addressed in order for you to move on and cope with what you’re going through.

Helplines & Resources: 

• TeenMentalHealth.org
• KidsHealth - A safe, private place for kids & teens who need honest, accurate information and advice about health, emotions, and life.
• Teen Line - A helpline for kids and teens to work through their personal issues and mental health as needed.  1-800-TLC-TEEN or 1-800-852-8336 (Toll Free US & Canada).
• Mind Infoline – Information on self-harm and a helpline to call in the UK at 0300 123 3393 or text 86463.
• Kids Help Phone – Free, anonymous and bilingual helpline for young people in Canada, available 24/7 by phone, Live Chat, and the Always There chat app for any issue, including self-injury and suicide. Call 1-800-668-6868 or visit kidshelpphone.ca.
• Kids Helpline – A helpline for kids and young adults in Australia to get help with issues including cutting and self-harm. Call 1800 55 1800. (Kids Helpline).

Interested in getting in touch with Dear Dish-It?

Simply email deardish@kidzworld.com with your concern, and we will address you on “Let’s Talk about it Tuesday” if your question is suitable for our topic of conversation. Regardless, keep your eyes peeled as Dear Dish-It it is covering a lot of issues, and you never know when your question or topic of concern will be featured in an article. Please let us know if you would like your handle to be listed as anonymous and list your age in your question if you would like as that can impact advice. To learn the Do's and Don'ts of Dear Dish-It, and to find out what kind of questions are appropriate, check out this article!

Have Your Say

Do you ever feel suicidal? What do you do when you feel this way? Comment below.