Dear Dish-It,
I’m in love with this guy that could never love me back because he is famous. He thinks I only love him as a fan but I’d love him no matter what. What should I do?
Lovestruck and confused
Dear L&C,
To me it sounds like you have a major crush on someone, and that someone happens to be a celebrity. The thing is, most of us go through the exact same thing. And while your feelings for this famous person may seem very real to you, you have to understand that, at the end of the day, it’s really just what people call puppy love. In order to truly love someone it’s necessary for your feelings to be reciprocated by that person (that means, the person you love will have the same loving feelings for you, too).
Some people call first crushes "puppy love" because these feelings are new to you, you're young and you don't have much life (or love) experience. Think about how a puppy is so excited and happy with everything new in its life, from a rubber bone to an old shoe. But when your feelings seem real and strong, it may not seem like puppy love to you.
Still, to give you more of an idea about what you’re going through right now, here’s some (hopefully) helpful info about crushes.
What’s A Crush? Why Do I Have One?
As we grow up to become preteens, teens and then adults, our feelings and emotions are constantly changing, just like our bodies. One of those emotions can be described as a “crush” – a special feeling you have about a classmate, a friend or a celebrity you really like and admire.
Noticing the first crush you have in your life, no matter who it’s on or how likely it is for anything to come of it, is pretty special and exciting. It lets you really understand more adult relationships (like between your mom and dad, for example) and how it feels to like another human being – a whole lot!
But crushing can be kind of confusing, especially if it’s your first crush or you like someone who isn’t really available to have a relationship with, like a movie star or superstar musician. Luckily, you don’t have to worry too much about this; you see, while crushes may mark the beginning of your journey as an adult toward having a loving and lasting relationship with another person (like your future husband or wife), they’re really just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the real thing. Try to think of your crush more as the first lesson in the study of love – trust me, there’ll be plenty of other lessons to learn as you continue to grow.
The fact is, you’re not alone in how you feel. Lots of kids your age crush on people they don’t know and are never likely to meet in their lifetimes, like celebrities they see in movies and on TV. In this case, there are things to learn from your crush, such as some of the qualities you admire in another person. Then you can look for those qualities in future crushes or people you eventually have real relationships with.
Heartbreak
When you have a crush on someone and you find out that he or she likes you, too, it's a wonderful feeling. But sometimes it doesn't work out that way. It's hard to find out that the person you like doesn't feel the same way about you. You might feel sad, disappointed, and rejected. That sad feeling is called heartbreak, even though your heart isn't really breaking into pieces. If you feel heartbreak, those feelings can last for a while, but they will fade.
Crushes are new and exciting, so enjoy them while they last. Someday, you'll be telling your own kids about your first crush!
If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.
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