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Dear Dish-It: Is It Time To Move On?

Sep 29, 2009

Dear Dish-It,

I have a huge crush on someone. Even though he told me he doesn’t like me I still feel like he does. But now he has a girlfriend and I’m starting to think he doesn’t like me after all. Should I stop liking him or not?

Datless


Dear Datless,

Finding out your crush doesn’t feel the same way about you can be just as tough and painful as a real breakup. It’s definitely time to move on but the question is, how do you get over your heartbreak?


The feeling you have when you feel heartbreak is a feeling of loss. The feeling of loss is very real – whether it’s over something you really had and lost or something you only hoped would happen but never did. Almost everyone experiences heartbreak at some point and describe it as a feeling of heaviness, emptiness and sadness. Now that it’s time for you to move on from your old crush, you may experience some or all of these feelings. The good news is, there are things you can do to lessen the pain.


Share your feelings. Telling someone you trust or someone who has been through what you’re going through can help you feel better. Even having a good cry on the shoulder of a comforting friend or family member can help you deal with any sad or painful feelings you may have. If talking about your feelings isn’t really your thing, try hanging out and doing all the things you normally enjoy, like seeing a movie or going to a concert – this could take your mind off feeling sad.


Remember what's good about you. Sometimes people with broken hearts start to blame themselves for what's happened. If you find this happening to you, remind yourself of your good qualities; and if you can't think of them because your heartache is clouding your view, get your friends to remind you.


Take good care of yourself and stay busy. A broken heart can be very stressful so don't let the rest of your body get broken too. Get lots of sleep, eat well and exercise to give your self-esteem a boost. Keeping busy also helps. This is a great time to redecorate your room or try a new hobby. That doesn't mean you shouldn't think about what happened, it just means you should focus on other things too.


Give yourself time. Remember, it takes time for sadness to go away. Heartbreak almost always heals after a while. How long that will take depends on what caused your heartbreak, how you deal with loss and how quickly you bounce back from things.


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


More Advice:

  • How Do I Deal With My Breakup?
  • How To Break Up
  • My Parents Made Us Break Up
  • Don’t Tell Us To Break Up