Dear Dish-It,
My mama won’t let me shave – she says I’m too young. What do I do?
lilfabulous
Dear LF,
Every girl, pretty much, has been there before! It can be really tough when your mom doesn’t seem to understand or agree with something that’s important to you. Here are some tips on how to talk to your mom about shaving your legs, what to say and what to do if she says no.
The Talk
If you’ve already asked and she’s said “no” don’t bring it up every 5 minutes – she’ll just get annoyed. Instead, sit her down for a full convo on the subject and don’t bring it up again for a few months – no matter what the outcome. Here are some ways to talk to her about it so that things come out in your favor!
- Listen to her: Tell your mom you want to start shaving and acknowledge that she doesn’t approve. Then ask her to explain why. Really pay attention – she might actually have some good reasons.
- Explain yourself: Politely tell her your reasons for wanting to shave. If other girls have made fun of you or if it’s making you feel so uncomfortable that you won’t even wear shorts in 90-degree weather, she might be more likely to understand.
- Compromise: No matter what mom’s reasons for saying “no” are, you have to let her know that you were listening and you’re willing to meet her halfway. Offer a compromise: you’ll only shave below your knees or you’ll use a hair removal cream instead of shaving.
- Give it time: After the two of you have chatted ask her to think it over before she makes a decision. Decide on a time when she’ll tell you and don’t ask her about it until then.
The Decision
Now comes the (hopefully) good part, when your mom tells you whether or not you’re allowed to shave. If your conversation went well, you both listened to each other and she understands that your reasons are good, she’ll most likely say yes. If she does, great! Make sure you include her in the process by asking for tips or a demo. If she says no, here’s how to handle it:
- Accept it: Tell her you understand her decision and while it isn’t what you wanted you’ll respect it. Even if you’re feeling totally bummed, you’re showing her how mature you are by not whining.
- Try again: After a month or two, approach the subject again. Make sure mom knows that it’s a big deal to you and why. It also might help to gently remind her how mature you were about the rejection last time. You may have to repeat this cycle a few times, but be patient! She will eventually say yes.
Remember: NO BEGGING OR WHINING! If you handle the situation like the mature girl you are, she’ll be more likely to treat you like one.
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