Dear Dish-It, My Parents Are Ruining My Life!
My parents are totally ruining my life! I’m 12 years old and I just moved to a new school. Well I was pretty nervous about starting a new school but I found a girlfriend and now she is my whole world. I really love her and we tell each other all the time. I call and talk to her every night and I even talk to her mom on the phone sometimes. Well my mom is totally spazzing out about this. My girlfriend’s mom invited me to come over to their house and my mom and dad said no. The her parents invited me to spend the weekend and my parents again said no way! They are not being fair. My mom told me I had to break up with her and just be friends and that I can’t date until 9th grade. The she texted my girlfriend and told her I can’t date her anymore! I don’t know why my parents try to ruin my life all the time? Any advice cause I plan to be her boyfriend whether my parents like it or not. What they won’t know won’t hurt them.
Matty_12
Well, Matty, you really are in a jam, aren’t you?! While you sound like a really mature 12-year-old, I think maybe your parents are right in that it’s a pretty young age to be dating anyone seriously. I’m glad you’re fitting in well at your new school. That’s important, and now that you feel accepted by your new girlfriend and her parents, it sort of makes things even better, doesn’t it? I understand that your parents not being able to accept your girlfriend and her family is coming between you guys, but you do have to remember that your mom and dad have your best interests in mind.
Here’s my advice: sit down with your parents and talk to them without becoming emotional. That means staying cool and calm, no matter what you discuss. Emotion is a big way that parents decide how mature you are, so be sure not to lose your temper when you have this talk with them – you want to prove to them that you are old enough to talk things out in a calm, mature way. Explain to your mom and dad that your girlfriend and her parents add to your feelings of fitting in and that your parents’ failure to be happy for you makes you feel like they want you to be left out. Try and see if there is some way the three of you (you, mom and dad) can come to an agreement. Maybe they’ll still let you see your girlfriend and visit her home if it’s a “family night” and they’re invited, too. Or see if they would feel more comfortable inviting her and her parents to come over to your house.
Like I said, I think 12 may be too young to be doing any really serious dating, so I understand why your parents wouldn’t want you spending nights or weekends at your girlfriend’s house. Instead of being angry and blowing up at them (which won’t get you anywhere), it’s better to ask them (calmly) why they are worried and to try and understand where they are coming from. It’s always better to try and meet in the middle, so you get something rather than nothing.
So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.
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