Not Impressed By The Way That I Dress?

It would be nice to think that we could wear whatever we wanted and not have to feel judged or labeled. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. Girls are called “sluts” for the way that they dress, and some people are made fun of for alternative ways in which they dress. Today on Dear Dish-It’s "Let's Talk About it Tuesday" we are going to look at questions from kids and teens who feel affected by this reality. Dressing is a form of self-expression, and no one should be made fun of for the way that they dress. If someone dresses differently then the group, then all the more power to them. Remember it's okay to be different and it's okay to stand out. Remember to be you in spite of what anyone tells you. How you dress is a part of your identity so stay true to that, and try not to let others get you down. You can dress any way you like, but be mindful of what's suitable to wear to school. 

Let’s Take a Look at This Week’s Questions:

 

Question by Confused

Question: For some reason my best friend called me a slut for no reason. She never had a boyfriend and she claims she’s just playing around it hurts because I dress normally like she does and I never cheated on a guy idk what she is trying to imply but it hurts.

Insight/Advice:

Why would your "friend" call you such a horrible name? Have you tried telling her how you feel? Or expressed to her that you don’t like that word. It’s never supposed to be a funny word and perhaps because you haven't told her your truth, she thinks it's all in good fun. It strikes me when you say that you dress “normally”, are other girls called “sluts” for the way that they dress? This is really hard, as fashion has evolved. Crop tops and short shorts are in, and girls are wearing less and less these days by trend. This doesn’t make them a slut for wearing these clothes. Girls should be able to dress how they want without hassle, but unfortunately the world doesn’t work that way. Certain standards for how one should dress have been placed upon us, and people will call girls sluts for wearing little clothing. Dress however you want, though it doesn’t sound like you’d be able to handle the name people or friends might call you. Be you, that’s all you can do and hang out with people who treat you with respect and don’t call you awful names. If she is supposed to be your best friend, she should fill that role, be by your side and have your back at all times. Calling you names when it isn’t justified is not a joke and needs to stop.

Question by macky

Question: How do I get people to notice me? I was in school today and I bumped into this boy who was in my class for 2 years and he said "are you new here?" because he never noticed me :( I dress nice but no one sees me like I’m invisible.

Insight/Advice:

Just because you feel this way, it does not make it true. I bet a lot of people admire your sense of style. People are just less likely to speak up, but we never know what others are thinking. Why not try talking to people. Make the first move. Don’t just wait for people to come to you. It’s good to be outgoing, and remember it’s not just what you wear, it’s who you are. That’s what is most important so let people get to know you.

Question by maria

Question: I have a friend named Asia she is so jealous of me, last week she put putty in my hair at recess, always haves something bad to say when I dress up. Last year her mom said I could go over her house. I went to her house and she had to take a shower so I was just sitting there until her mom said I could get on the computer so I did. She got out the shower and she said I could not get on the computer no more her mom heard it and she yelled at her because she was sooo jealous.

Insight/Advice:

It doesn’t sound like the healthiest of relationships. How is it serving you? Why is she so jealous of you? Jealousy and envy don’t equate a solid friendship. When you dress up she should say something nice, and never insult you. She’s entitled to not like what you are wearing, but even still she doesn’t need to express it to you. You are allowed to be as you chose to be. If she does want to express negativity, there is a wise mind way that she can do so. She can tell you in a wise way that she doesn’t approve. Putting stuff in your hair? That’s just childish. I think you need to revaluate the friendship. Are you gaining anything in this relationship or constantly being put down?

Question by LAPFOX

Question: Dear Dish-it, my friends think I'm weird because I wear fur suits and they make fun of me whenever I dress up like one and it makes me sad, because it's something like and they don't respect it, could you please help me wit this issue? Thanks Dish-It!

Insight/Advice:

You should stick up for your style and let your friends know that this is who you are and this is what you like. You don’t owe them any explanations. If they are your true friend, they will love and accept you for the way that you are.

Afterthoughts

We should live in a society where we can dress freely so be yourself and wear what you want. It’s good to address appropriately for school. Dress how you want, but consider the occasion. Women have been taunted over the way they dress for generations. There is such a thing as stereotyping how people are suppose to dress. There is also the pressure of fashion, which dictates to us what is in "in" and what is "out." You don't have to follow these guidelines if they don't suit you. If you prefer wearing different stuff, then that is entirely up to you. You don't have to dress to fit it. You just have to dress how you want and please yourself by doing so. Who care what others say. If they don't get you, they don't get you, but there will be people who do so focus on them. Most importantly focus on you, and wear what makes you feel comfortable and confident. Making fun of someone for how they dress is never a nice thing, and you should just let people be as they are and how they want to be. Remember, what goes around comes around and karma can kill. You might want to keep your thoughts to yourself especially if they aren't positive thoughts.  

Helplines & Resources:

• TeenMentalHealth.org
• KidsHealth - A safe, private place for kids & teens who need honest, accurate information and advice about health, emotions, and life.
• Teen Line - A helpline for kids and teens to work through their personal issues and mental health as needed.  1-800-TLC-TEEN or 1-800-852-8336 (Toll-Free US & Canada).
• Mind Infoline – Information on self-harm and a helpline to call in the UK at 0300 123 3393 or text 86463.
• Kids Help Phone – Free, anonymous and bilingual helpline for young people in Canada, available 24/7 by phone, Live Chat, and the Always There chat app for any issue, including self-injury and suicide. Call 1-800-668-6868 or visit kidshelpphone.ca.
• Kids Helpline – A helpline for kids and young adults in Australia to get help with issues including cutting and self-harm. Call 1800 55 1800. (Kids Helpline).

Interested in getting in touch with Dear Dish-It?

Simply email deardish@kidzworld.com with your concern, and we will address you on “Let’s Talk about it Tuesday” if your question is suitable for our topic of conversation. Regardless, keep your eyes peeled as Dear Dish-It it is covering a lot of issues, and you never know when your question or topic of concern will be featured in an article. Please let us know if you would like your handle to be listed as anonymous and list your age in your question if you would like as that can impact advice. To learn the Do's and Don'ts of Dear Dish-It, and to find out what kind of questions are appropriate, check out this article!

Have your say

Have you ever been made fun of for how you dress? How so? Comment below.