Dear Dish-it,
I was just on vacation in Mexico. There was this guy…we never talked but we saw each other all over the resort and always caught each other’s eyes. But he’s a complete stranger…that I’m desperately in love with. All I know is his first name and that he’s from Canada. I’m in America. I found myself crying over him and trying to find him on Facebook, but with only a first name and Canada it didn’t work. Help me, please.
desperately in love
Dear desperately in love,
I’m afraid there’s not much that you can (or should) do about this situation…however, like most experiences in life, there is a chance here for you to learn something and grow so that the next time you feel like you really want to meet someone (and trust me, it WILL happen again!), you won’t miss your opportunity.
Bye-Bye Shy
While being too forward and upfront can cause problems, being too shy to say anything at all can leave you feeling like you currently do – disappointed and not in control. I wish I had a time machine that could take you back to the past so that you could say something to this guy, but I don’t. The best advice I can offer is that you look at this as a learning opportunity. The next time you feel like you have a connection with someone, don’t be afraid to say something!
Now, that may seem like something that you could never do in a million years – but you can! While you’re waiting for your next crush to come along, why not practice stepping out of your comfort zone and talking to people you would normally be too shy to talk to? If you’re not the type to raise your hand in class, start pushing yourself to do exactly that. You can even try joining a club or after-school group so that you’re forced to meet and talk to new people. All of this practice will make sure you’re ready to reach out to the next guy you like!
Finally, “reaching out” doesn’t mean writing a long love letter that could end up making you seriously blush. Rather, it means not being afraid to be yourself and to be friendly. Once you make the effort to say something as simple as “hi” to a guy that peaks your interest, you’ll be able to take the conversation further – and maybe even start flirting a little!
You Never Know
While I don’t recommend trying to search out and contact strangers online (seriously, don’t do it), you never know when someone you think you’ll never see again may pop back into your life. It may take years, but who knows? Maybe you’ll see your vacation crush again some day (remember the movie Grease? It happened to Sandy and Danny; it could happen to you!). In the meantime, I really wouldn’t worry about having lost the “love of your life” or anything like that. It’s totally normal to have crushes like this and trust me, you’ll see someone else soon that will likely make you forget all about your Mexican man…
HAVE YOUR SAY: What do you think desperately in love should do? Do you have some good advice? Leave your comment below!
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