Dear Dish-It,
My mom won't let me have a boyfriend until after college. I don't think it is right. I am currently IN LOVE. I don't know what to do. My cousin is two years older than me and she says I should only have a boyfriend when I am her age – that’s in two years for cryin' out loud! I can't wait that long! Should I date my love without tellin' my parents or just wait for more than 10 years to get a boyfriend? I’m very desperate to get one!
TheGirlWhoIsDesperateToGetABoyfriend or TGWIDTGAB
Dear TGWIDTGAB,
I wonder why your parents feel the way they do about dating? Have you and your parents actually sat down and discussed dating? Such a discussion would give your parents the opportunity to explain why they have concerns about dating at an early age. Such a discussion also would give you the opportunity to bring out some important points, such as the following.
1. Dating is an important part of growing up. It allows the adolescent to gain experience and social skills that actually will be helpful in avoiding risky situations in the future. You might explain that learning to deal with boys now might actually help you keep relationships appropriate.
2. Dating gives an adolescent the opportunity to form friendships with the opposite sex and to gain understanding of what boys are like. Actually, it is important to experience some of these relationships in order to make wise decisions about really important partnerships like MARRIAGE. Dating is learning how to know the difference between a not-so-good relationship and a really good (awesome) relationship that hopefully could be permanent.
3. It would be great to be able to go to mom and dad for advice during some of these dating experiences...again, preparing you for adult relationships.
4. It would be great to be able to call home for a ride if things get out of hand. This might not be possible if you have had no dating experience and start dating after you’re on your own (college or job). The best time for such discussions is before you start dating.
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