Dear Dish-It,
I'm being bullied at school. Not physically, but with words. One guy calls me a nerd and stupid. I try to ignore it but one time I told him to shut up and leave me alone. I know he's just taking out his own problems on me and other girls. I want to yell at the top of my lungs. What should I do?
true2myself
Dear true2myself,
bullying is so awful. It sucks to be bullied and, believe it or not, it sucks to be a bully, too.
Lots of experts have studied bullies and bullying. They wonder what makes some kids pick on other kids. And do you know what a lot of these psychologists and behavioral scientists have found? That bullies suffer from a lot of problems, just like you said. They have low self-esteem, and feel they need to take their hatred of themselves or anger about their lives out on other people. They may have problems at home with their parents, or they may feel like they have no friends at school. So they act tough and say and do mean things to people they are jealous of.
It sounds to me like the bully at your school has something else going on in his life that you don’t know about. Ignoring him is definitely one solution. Another idea would be, if you feel comfortable and safe doing so, actually talking to this guy and asking him if there’s anything wrong. Maybe he just needs someone – a friend – to reach out to him? The other option is to talk to an adult – a teacher or one of your parents – about how you feel. They may have some good suggestions as to what you can do to fix the situation or make it better.
Whatever you do, don’t think for a minute that you’re being bullied because there’s something wrong with you. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. There’s something wrong with your bully.
So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.
More Dish-It Advice:
- What’s A Bully?
- The Bully Factor
- I’m Having Problems At School
- I’m Getting Picked On
- More Great Advice from Dish-It!
