Dear Dish-It,
I really like this guy but I can’t seem to get him to notice me. We talk and stuff but not that much. He’s really smart and so am I, but if you know a way I can get him to see I like him this would be good.
L-kk
Dear L-kk,
You sound like a girl with a good head on her shoulders! As such, I am going to give you some smart advice to deal with this little issue of yours – how to get your crush to like you back.
First of all, if you and the object of your desire already talk from time to time, then that is a positive sign. He already knows you exist, so you don’t have to work hard at all to make that apparent to him. However, what I hear you saying is you want to take your relationship to another level with this guy. Meaning, you want to see if there’s a potential for something more than casual friendship between the two of you.
Here’s the thing. Since it doesn’t seem like this guy considers you to be more than just a friend (for now!), you have to be careful about how you make it clear to him that you want to and can be more to him than that. You see, despite the fact you two are both smart, guys and girls are actually quite different from each other in terms of how they perceive the people around them and how they act on their emotions.
What I’m trying to say is this: until this guy actually shows some interest in you beyond friendship, there’s not much I really think you can do about the situation. While it would be tempting, I’m sure, for you to come right out and tell him exactly how you feel, I think in your case you need to act with a little more grace than that. Guys love the thrill of the chase, and if you’re too upfront with him about your emotions he may get frightened.
I think until you reach a point with this person where you know for sure he’s got some interest in you beyond just friendship, you need to be careful and subtle in the signals you give him. One way you could let him know you’re available is to make it obvious to him that you two share similar interests and have a lot of things in common. But you need to always keep your cool and act calm and collected around your crush – going nuts and joining all the same clubs he’s in or taking up the tuba because he’s in the band, etc., is not cool and will probably work against you.
I say just keep being friends with him. Try and make your friendship grow naturally – like I said, don’t force it. Once he realizes you’re a great girl and he likes hanging around you, you can try some different tactics to take your relationship a step further, For now, the best advice I can give you is to be yourself and continue doing what you’re doing. Hopefully you’re friendship will grow and, as it does, so will your feelings for each other.
So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.
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